Many teens who self-harm go to great lengths to hide their behavior, so it’s important to recognize even subtle signs. Cutting, deliberately injuring oneself with sharp objects, is one of the most common forms of self-harm. People who engage in cutting usually do it in secret as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions, not as a suicide attempt. Understanding the behavioral indicators and terminology associated with cutting, along with the physical signs and the physiological cycle that drives it, can help peers and caregivers recognize this behavior and respond with compassion.
Behavioral Indicators of Cutting Behavior
People who cut often develop patterns meant to either hide their injuries or signal inner distress. They may spend long periods isolated after emotional upsets, locking themselves in bathrooms or bedrooms and abruptly pulling away from friends or family. Privacy becomes paramount; questions about where they’ve been or what they’re doing might be met with evasiveness or irritation. Clothing choices can also change, with long sleeves or wristbands in hot weather appearing to keep scars or fresh wounds out of sight. Activities that require changing clothes in front of others, such as swimming, team sports, and gym class, may suddenly be avoided. If someone notices an injury, the person might offer a quick explanation (e.g., a cat scratch or a fall), always armed with a story, no matter how implausible it sounds.
Emotional presentation can also swing between extremes. Some moments bring intense outbursts of anger, tears, or visible agitation; other times they exhibit a numb detachment, each state serving to cope with internal pain. In conversation or on social media, they might voice feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness. While such feelings alone don’t prove self-harm, they often accompany the turmoil that cutting is used to manage. No single sign guarantees someone is cutting, but a cluster of these changes, especially if their behavior shifts sharply from past patterns, should raise concern. A gentle, nonjudgmental approach that emphasizes care and support is the most constructive first step.
Terminology and Online Communities
In many cases, teens learn about and reinforce cutting behavior through online communities. Across social media platforms there are insular groups where individuals who self-harm share experiences, tips, and even graphic images. They often use specific terminology and hashtags, sometimes in coded ways, to find each other. For example, the clinical term is “nonsuicidal self-injury” (NSSI), but on forums or Instagram one might see tags like #selfharm or #cutting. When platforms ban or censor these tags, users find workarounds by altering the spelling (for instance, #selfharmmm or deliberately misspelling “self-harm” as #selfharn). One researcher noted that the only thing needed to reach graphic content was to misspell self-harm in a hashtag.
Some slang or ambiguous tags serve as a secret code. Studies have identified terms like #blithe, #cat, or #selfinjuryy being used on Instagram as veiled references within the self-harm community. Users even coined the hashtag #MySecretFamily, which amassed over a million posts, to describe the sense of belonging in an online self-harm circle. In these spaces, people may bond over shared struggles, but they can also unwittingly normalize or encourage each other’s harmful behavior. Posts commonly include “advice” on how to cut without detection, such as which body parts are easiest to hide and how to clean and dress wounds afterward. For someone already in distress, consuming this content can be triggering and reinforce the cycle of self-injury.
While these online communities might provide a feeling of understanding, they can also glamorize self-harm or make it harder for individuals to seek help. Parents and friends should be aware of the lingo and keep an eye on social media habits. If you see a loved one using unfamiliar hashtags or engaging with self-harm content, take it as a sign to gently start a conversation about their well-being.
Cutting Kits and Physical Signs
Beyond behavior changes, there are concrete physical signs and even paraphernalia associated with cutting. Many who self-harm develop almost ritualistic habits around it. Some keep a hidden “cutting kit” in their room or backpack containing items like razor blades, hobby knives, broken glass, or other sharp objects. These kits often include supplies to tend to wounds – antiseptic wipes, bandages, tissues – and the person will carefully clean and store the tools after each episode. Individuals can become surprisingly attached to these tools, sometimes referring to them as if they were trusted friends that help them survive emotional pain. On the other hand, more impulsive self-harmers might grab any available object when the urge strikes, even something rusty or unsafe, which raises the risk of infection or more severe injury.
Physical evidence of cutting can range from subtle to obvious. Repeated small, parallel cuts or patterned scars, often on the wrists, forearms, thighs, or abdomen, may be concealed beneath clothing, but you might spot bandages or adhesive strips peeking out. Clothing, sheets, or towels could have specks or smears of blood that get brushed off as “paint” or “hair dye.” You might notice the same sweatshirt or jacket worn constantly, since it both hides injuries and absorbs any bleeding. Hidden tools can turn up in strange places: a razor blade removed from a disposable razor, a shard of glass, or the metal blade from a pencil sharpener tucked under a mattress or in a drawer. Stocks of first-aid supplies like antiseptic ointment, piles of bandage wrappers, or rolls of medical tape may indicate frequent wound care. Meanwhile, poorly tended cuts that look inflamed or seem to be reopening could signal ongoing self-harm. Many people intentionally choose body areas that are easy to cover such as the upper thighs, hips, or torso, and will insist on changing clothes in private or keeping sleeves down at all times. Noticing these physical signs, especially if they recur, can help you realize someone may be hurting themselves and needs compassionate support.
The Physiological and Addictive Cycle of Cutting
Cutting often creates a physiological cycle that can feel addictive. When someone self-injures, the body’s pain response releases certain neurochemicals, notably endorphins and other opioids, that briefly soothe or numb emotional pain. Many who cut describe feeling a rush or “high” immediately afterward, as if their stress or emptiness has been relieved for a short time. However, this relief is only temporary. It’s often followed by guilt, shame, or the return of the emotional pain that prompted the self-harm, which then creates an urge to cut again once negative feelings build up. Over time, a person may need to cut more frequently or more deeply to achieve the same sense of release, much like how tolerance increases with substance use. In fact, one study found 98% of people who self-harmed met multiple criteria for addiction-like behavior.
Although cutting isn’t officially classified as a drug addiction, it shares many addictive qualities. The pattern often looks like this: mounting emotional tension or numbness → a self-harm incident (cutting) → an immediate sense of relief or calm due to the brain’s chemical response → a crash into remorse or unresolved pain → eventually, the cycle repeats to cope again. Each loop strengthens the habit, making it increasingly difficult to stop without outside help. It’s crucial to understand that people who cut are not “doing it for attention” or trying to be reckless – they are caught in a self-perpetuating cycle of trying to manage unbearable feelings. Breaking that cycle usually requires therapy and finding healthier coping strategies to replace self-harm (for example, learning to tolerate distress, using creative outlets or exercise to vent emotions, etc.).
Not a Suicide Attempt – But Still Serious
One critical point to understand is that non-suicidal self-injury (cutting) is typically distinct from suicidal behavior. As psychologist Amanda Giordano explains, most people who cut are not trying to kill themselves; they’re trying to regulate their emotions. The intent behind cutting is usually to feel better (or at least to feel something), not to end one’s life. In fact, some individuals describe self-harm as a twisted way to stay alive by coping with pain. However, this does not mean cutting is harmless or minor. Self-injury carries real physical dangers (risk of infection, accidental severe injury) and is a sign of serious emotional distress. Without proper help, the underlying problems driving self-harm often worsen. Research shows that while self-harm and suicidal intent are different, engaging in self-injury can increase the risk of feeling suicidal in the long run if the person doesn’t develop healthier ways to deal with their pain. In other words, someone who cuts today might not want to die – but if their suffering continues unchecked, they could be at higher risk of considering suicide later.
If you or someone you know is cutting, take it seriously and respond with care. Avoid reacting with panic, anger, or disgust; instead, express concern and a willingness to listen. Let them know you’re glad they told you (or that you noticed) and that you want to help. Encourage them to seek professional support, like a counselor or therapist who has experience with self-harm, so they can address both the emotional turmoil and the behavior itself. Remember that recovery is absolutely possible. With support and appropriate treatment, individuals can learn healthier coping mechanisms and break free from the cycle of self-harm – finding hope and resilience beyond the blade.
